Analysis of an Absent Father
by Jade Dragon1
Summary: Why did Jin abandon Gon? This one shot, explores three different posibilities.
1. Unwanted

Note- This is not intended as a political or moral statement but as an exploration of possible reasons why Gon might have been abandoned by his father. From Jin's point of view.  
  
Analysis of the Absent Father  
  
Unwanted  
  
She said she was pregnant. Neither of us had planned on that. We had taken precautions; nevertheless, here we were in the doctor's office.  
  
She' did not want the baby. We discussed abortion, we discussed adoption. Neither one seemed to be the best decision. We had created a life and it was part of us, but it interfered with our lives as hunters. The idea of a stranger raising my child was upsetting; it would not be easy for most people to understand the nature of the child whose DNA came from two talented hunters. He would be active, inquisitive and very strong-willed. Still at it was a possibility. Neither I nor the mother had the time or desire to cope with the child. I contacted my cousin. She wanted the baby. It wasn't easy way out and I grabbed it. I offered the mother a substantial amount of jenis to carry the baby to term. She readily agreed.  
  
After the birth of the child, we went our separate ways. I carried the baby halfway around the world and left him at Whale Island. I named him Gon. I do not know what whim prompted me to do so, but there it was.  
  
I left and walked away, back to my own life. Later, after I had created the video-game Greed Island; I sent him a small box with a memory card. I guess I was proud of the game. Maybe it was my one contribution to him as a parent, a way to train to become a stronger hunter. Maybe, it was because I thought of him occasionally.  
  
It did not really matter. In the end, we were still two separate people, not a family and I honestly had no desire to see him or pursue a relationship with him.  
  
Gon was simply an accident and I left before I was held responsible for the mess and made to take care of it. 


	2. Unworthy

Unworthy  
  
How could I be a father? My former lover just dropped the baby off. Leaving me holding the bag, so to speak.  
  
"It's your child, you deal with it."  
  
It was plainly visible that the baby boy was my child, even as small as he was, he resembled me strongly.  
  
I had no idea how to care for a baby. I felt overwhelmed. I had no model or guide to go by as I had been orphaned myself and raised by my aunt. I could face monsters and criminals and rebuild ancient ruins, but I was completely baffled by caring for a baby.  
  
In the end, there was really only one thing I could do. I took him to my only living relatives on remote Whale Island. I did not really want to leave him, he was a sweet baby and I had grown fond of him. However, I had many other things that I needed to accomplish and my cousin readily accepted responsibility for him. Agreeing to raise him as her own son.  
  
She begged me to stay, pleaded with me to visit. She said Gon needed his father. Time after time, something always interfered, so I never could seem to get back to be with Gon.  
  
Finally, my cousin took me to court and sued for guardianship and to terminate my parental rights, giving her complete control. The court agreed. Though the judge was duly impressed by my credentials; the hard truth stood out in stark relief, I was a wanderer. I could not supply Gon with a stable, safe environment. I could not meet the needs of a growing child. I could not even be bothered to come for a visit. The facts pointed out so harshly shamed me. I realized I would never be able to fill Gon's needs, so I gave in. I hoped it was for the best.  
  
I had to honor my word to my cousin, I could not see Gon. She explained that it would only hurt him more to have me flit in and out of his life, present then absent. It would seem as though, he were being abandoned again and again. I reluctantly agreed to her demands and stepped away from Gon's life.  
  
I found myself in a position one day, to confide my feelings to a close friend. He listened to me pour out my heart, my insecurities and desires to help Gon someday. After I had described how curious, observant, and clever Gon was even as a baby, he agreed with me that Gon would probably be a hunter when he was older. He suggested that I find a way to train him, to be an elite hunter, as I had devoted my life to becoming. However, because of my pledge to my cousin, I could not see him again.  
  
From this desire to somehow help Gon be strong. Greed Island was created. It was the ultimate training ground, difficult, dangerous and complicated. Through this game he would learn to survive, to fight and to excel. It was the best way I could think of to guide him through the path of becoming a man.  
  
After I sent the package to my cousin to hold for Gon; I determined that I would become the best hunter in the world. To give him something to admire and a reason to be proud of me.  
  
I feared he would try to find me when he was older, that would violate my word to my cousin, and also, it would place me in the awkward position of having to explain myself to my son. I was a coward I admit it freely. The only thing in this world I was truly scared of was seeing the contempt in the eyes of my son as he looked at me. So I vowed that he would not find me. If somehow, he did locate me, I would have to answer those questions. Finally tell the truth to him and myself. Accept his words and desires and go on. Even if my heart was broken. 


	3. Complications

Note: This is my favorite theory of why Jin really left Gon. It seems the most likely.  
  
Complications  
  
"You can not take time out to raise a child. You know that. Your mission is far to important to hunter and world security." The Hunter President stated. His judgment final, my request denied. I could not argue with him. I knew I gave up my own life to fulfill this mission. It was vitally important to the entire world. The criminal mastermind must be stopped.  
  
I had named the boy Gon. His mother died soon after his birth. She had been a gentle, kind and beautiful woman. Hard to believe that she had become a hunter and made it through the brutal exams. Her determination was unbelievable. She was a wildlife hunter. Animals readily became friendly with her, easily accepting her into their habitats. Until one day, she encountered a monster. It was frenzied from a kill and she could not escape. I rushed to help her, Gon strapped to my back in a carrier. It was to late, when I reached her, she was already dead. I slew the monster and carried her battered body back to our home for a proper burial.  
  
The committee gave me a few weeks to find a proper care taker for Gon, that was it. All the time I would be allowed to be with my son. My last link to the woman I loved. I did the only thing that made sense, I took him to my cousin and aunt on remote Whale Island. In the end it was necessary, my mission would put anyone I associated with in jeopardy. This included my son. My enemies would not hesitate to use him against me or kill him out of spite. I carried him to Whale Island with the utmost secrecy. I left him there with my cousin and was gone within hours.  
  
It depressed me to leave my child, however, I knew he would be well cared for. I could see his cheerful expression in my mind as he watched a butterfly and reached out to catch it with his tiny hands. How he had followed every move his mother and I made, how he observed and listened. I knew he would be a hunter as well when he was older. I loved him, but if he ws associated with me in any way, my aunt, cousin and Gon would be targeted for assaination.  
  
I did not explain anything to my cousin, the less she knew, the safer she and Gon would be. She easily persuaded the court to give her full custody of Gon. I was powerless to prevent it. I felt helpless, watching my last chance to be a father to him slip through my fingers. I would even go to the island from time to time and spy on them. Covertly watching my son as he grew. It was becoming more dangerous to do this and on my last trip, I left a box for Gon on the counter in the bar. It contained a memory card and a ring to the game I and a friend created. If Gon really did follow in my footsteps and become a hunter, I wanted him to be prepared for any situation. He would need to be strong, to be cunning and to know how nasty other people could really be. That is why I created Greed Island. So that Gon would receive the training he needed, the training I received only through much trial and error. Someday, he could even be a better hunter than me. Someday, I would not have to worry about protecting him anymore and he would find me. When that day came, he would be strong enough to protect himself from my enemies. Then I could acknowledge him as my son and hope that he would still want to acknowledge me as his father. I held onto this hope and waited. 


End file.
